Maxie girl went to a party
not knowing it was lame and farty.
Sitting all night in the cold
Charlie's party's getting old.
Farty party smarty tarty
Fuck this dinner, screw you Charlie.
She said to me, "Maxine, you have to leave, you aren't invited. Next time I see you lurking at my doorstep I'm going to call the cops." The cops! As if standing in front of someone else's door is really all that bad. It's weird, but why does it have to be illegal. Who says it is? A bunch of sweaty fat men and women with their panties up their asses, that's who.
I went home last night disappointed. I got no action, no music, and worst of all no free food. I went home hungry. But the worst part about it is that Charlie's mom thinks I'm some freak kid with no life and no other place to go. I can only imagine the horrible gossip she's probably told Charlie already. And then she even had the nerve to call up my dad and get him in on it! I was saved the lecture yesterday because he had to rush off to his crappy job at the skating rink, and I thought I was off the hook until now. I promise, I will never be so stupid again. He told me that if he ever saw me near that house again I would receive a more terrible punishment than the devil himself could give me. And those are the words straight out of his mouth, too.
He knows I've taken a liking to our cheeky little neighbor and he knows full well of my intentions because - let's face it - it's happened before. But I mean....it's not like I do anything you know? I don't have anything else to do with my time either. He's always hogging our only TV, I get tired of my gameboy pretty damn quick, and there's nothing else to do here but roller skate and walk around outside. I'm not and outdoors kind of person, let me tell you. Plus, following someone around makes me feel like a ninja. That honestly should be my only justifiable reason for doing the lousy things I do.
Whatever. He can try to keep me from my (admittedly weird) hobby, but it will be to no effect. I'm like the unholy spawn of James Bond, Chuck Norris, and both the Spy Kids, bitch. Nothing keeps Max B. down.
For the most part.
-Max
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
June 26,2010
The world is such a small place to live in, you know? Take out the idea that everything we see on television is so unattainable, buy yourself a goddamn airplane ticket, and you could be anywhere in this world in a matter of days. It's not like I've been anywhere but this this quiet excuse of a town to tell you the truth, but the thought is still a little bit depressing. After I see the whole world, what will I do next? Will I be bored and without a goal left in me? Will the world and its cultures suddenly seem so bland and boring? I want to see it all, but then again I don't. I want to see girls - oh, excuse me, women - from every culture and appreciate their beauty. My only problem is, is that the earth seems so small when you think about it. I just don't want to be bored.
Urg.
Well, I bring it up because I'm due to be shipped off to the beautiful Seattle city in a month or two. It's about a six to eight hour flight in a commercial plane that blasts across the whole country to get there. I'm exited, but not as much as I used to be. The first time I went there to visit the other half of my family, it was the most exiting thing in the world. The people were to flamboyant and different. To tell you the truth, I was but a pale shadow in their presence. The food? Amazing, slightly overpriced, and salty compared to what I'm used to.
The second time I went, it wasn't as great. Everything was expected; it was all already done before. I can only hope that this time, my visit will be met with an unexpected, yet welcomed turn of events.
Good news though!
A couple friends and I have kept in contact in these whole seven days of summer. It took them long enough to get bored enough to remember me...
Movies and parks are about to fill these next few days. The guys and I (Guys being Marcus and Julio - more info on them later) will be living it up as best we can in this rinkydink neighborhood before I leave.
Also.
Word around is that Charlie is hosting a party tonight. She claims to have invited her whole guest list, but I'm a little confused because I didn't even get mine yet. After she went to pick up party favors, I casually asked her mother about it and she told me that it was nothing but a dinner party.
Dinner party my ass. It'll be nothing at all without Max B. to liven things up. That's alright, though. I'm still going to save them the trouble and do them all the favor by going there uninvited tonight. All I need now is something to wear that doesn't scream '2012 poster child for the fashionably challenged and horribly underprivileged.'
Tonight is my night to score, amiright?
-Max
Urg.
Well, I bring it up because I'm due to be shipped off to the beautiful Seattle city in a month or two. It's about a six to eight hour flight in a commercial plane that blasts across the whole country to get there. I'm exited, but not as much as I used to be. The first time I went there to visit the other half of my family, it was the most exiting thing in the world. The people were to flamboyant and different. To tell you the truth, I was but a pale shadow in their presence. The food? Amazing, slightly overpriced, and salty compared to what I'm used to.
The second time I went, it wasn't as great. Everything was expected; it was all already done before. I can only hope that this time, my visit will be met with an unexpected, yet welcomed turn of events.
Good news though!
A couple friends and I have kept in contact in these whole seven days of summer. It took them long enough to get bored enough to remember me...
Movies and parks are about to fill these next few days. The guys and I (Guys being Marcus and Julio - more info on them later) will be living it up as best we can in this rinkydink neighborhood before I leave.
Also.
Word around is that Charlie is hosting a party tonight. She claims to have invited her whole guest list, but I'm a little confused because I didn't even get mine yet. After she went to pick up party favors, I casually asked her mother about it and she told me that it was nothing but a dinner party.
Dinner party my ass. It'll be nothing at all without Max B. to liven things up. That's alright, though. I'm still going to save them the trouble and do them all the favor by going there uninvited tonight. All I need now is something to wear that doesn't scream '2012 poster child for the fashionably challenged and horribly underprivileged.'
Tonight is my night to score, amiright?
-Max
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
June 16, 2010
Tomorrow is the last day of school. I'm not sure I want to go at all really. God forbid I actually get a reward at the two hour assembly we'll be having. I'm debating about going, but - hell - I've got nothing better to do. And besides, it being the last day and all, I'm sure there will be enough fights going around to keep one happy and entertained for the time being. Funny how everyone treats the end of the school year as permission to be as stupid as you can be. I even saw some chick with cherry red hair dressed in a bananna suit singing Peanut-butter Jelly Time in the cafeteria the other day! Like no one is going to remember you when school comes back around next year.
Freaks.
Well! I can't say I'll be missing any of the assholes I've encountered this year. Good riddance.
I plan to spend this summer relaxing and ridding my environment of as much assholery as I possibly can.
-Max
Freaks.
Well! I can't say I'll be missing any of the assholes I've encountered this year. Good riddance.
I plan to spend this summer relaxing and ridding my environment of as much assholery as I possibly can.
-Max
Saturday, June 5, 2010
June 5, 2010
I've got to be the dumbest person in the existence of mankind. She conned me! That jerk tricked me with a fake number. Why she did it, I have no idea. I called Charlie today, hoping to strike up another conversation with my newly found friend. You can guess how surprised I was when a woman picked up and cheerily greeted me with a "Hi! This is Puppetto's Pizza Parlor, how may I help you?"
I could feel myself about to scream then, but at the moment I don't know whether to be angry or happy with the fact that I'm now eating the most delicious pizza I've ever had in my life. (I mean, seriously. It's bangin'. ) Should I be okay knowing that she had absolutely no intention of talking to me in the first place? I mean, I didn't even ask for her number, she gave it to me with a smile. So excuse me if I'm a little confused.
Well, if she wants to play stupid games, then so be it. I hope she likes eggs, because she's about to get an entire carton right through her window. If I've learned anything in my bleak existence as a nobody, it's that you can't take shit sitting down.
...wait.
...I mean you can but....
...shut up. :/
-Max
I could feel myself about to scream then, but at the moment I don't know whether to be angry or happy with the fact that I'm now eating the most delicious pizza I've ever had in my life. (I mean, seriously. It's bangin'. ) Should I be okay knowing that she had absolutely no intention of talking to me in the first place? I mean, I didn't even ask for her number, she gave it to me with a smile. So excuse me if I'm a little confused.
Well, if she wants to play stupid games, then so be it. I hope she likes eggs, because she's about to get an entire carton right through her window. If I've learned anything in my bleak existence as a nobody, it's that you can't take shit sitting down.
...wait.
...I mean you can but....
...shut up. :/
-Max
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
June 2, 2010
It's officially been twenty-one days since my last post. School is almost over, yet end of course exams are days away. It kills me how such sweet triumph in knowing summer is here can be so spoiled. It's like knowing you're getting out of hell, but you've got another five rounds of extra harsh torture before you do. Sort of. I guess its better than nothing, though.
Is it just me, or are high school girls dressing more and more like sluts these days? I mean, I've got to admit, it is eye catching on the rare occasion, but watching a bunch of gap-toothed freshman girls that look like they've jumped out of a vat of acid and Mary Kay supplies isn't an appealing thing to do on a daily basis.
Luckily for me and half the population of the male sophomore class, Charlie is not this trashy. I'm surprised, actually, because she looked pretty classy today. Her black heels and slick glasses as a stunning fashion statement aren't what I want to blog about today, though. No, no, no, my friends. I'd like to say that this day officially marks the steamy beginning of a new chapter in my story.
It starts with the closing of an art club and a string of fevered curse words.
Recently my father picked up this chick (at the sorry excuse of a "club" around here,of course. Where else?) Her name is Janey. She's a hoot, let me tell you. You'd think no one in their right mind who wasn't over fifty would wear tacky red lipstick and purple eyeshadow anymore, but then you'd be dead wrong. Janey is your classic hooch, a grade-A streetwalker.
Well anyways, today is Wednesday, which is the day I go to art club every week. It's a sad excuse of a club - really just a place for the local anime freaks (no offense) , wannabe artists, and troublemakers spend an extra hour away from home. I get out of their at four. I expect my ride to be there five minutes after, if not earlier. Sure I could walk the few neighborhoods and streets home, but it was hot and muggy.... I mean seriously.
So I sat outside the school in blazing hot weather, by myself, looking lonely as shit to my embarrassment, waiting for a full hour for the dumb bitch to pick me up. It later tuns out that Miss Janey was arrested for stealing alcohol. A dumb move on her part too. If a doped up minor with a fake ID can manage to steal some alcohol every once a while in this town, I don't see how she could possibly screw it up. Or buy it. That's always an option.
But the angels must have been calling my name, because after ten minutes Charlie walked out of the building and sat herself right down beside me. Of all the empty benches in the front of the school, mine was the one she chose! I was smiling so hard, I was pissing rainbows. :)
Like any normally social people, we struck up a conversation. I learned today that Charlie plays the piano. She takes extra classes after school for the heck of it, so I'm assuming she really loves to play. Though, when I told her I'd love to hear it sometime, she looked at me like I was a crazy person. I thought she'd up and leave at that point, but to my surprise she didn't. Charlie is pretty cool once you get past her obvious and intimidating aura of popularity. She's on the tennis team yearly, loves World of Warcraft, hates my choppy and dark haircut, thinks I'm emo, and can't stand the smell of the deodorant I wear. She's also brutally honest to the point of being a bitch, but I still like her.
She left ten minutes later, but I was still dazed enough not to hate the next forty or so minutes as I thought about how amazing she looked. How amazing it'd be to get into her pants, I mean. And when Janey the ugly mammoth pulled up in her bent up automobile at 5:15, I couldn't help but grinning to myself. While I'm a little ticked off that I didn't learn all this about Charlie while I was supposed to be allegedly "stalking" her (well, more like following her around randomly when I feel like it before I get to know her, but you get the drift) I still can't help relishing in the fact that she actually talked to me.
Oh, and I also got her number.
Giggity, giggity.
-Max
Is it just me, or are high school girls dressing more and more like sluts these days? I mean, I've got to admit, it is eye catching on the rare occasion, but watching a bunch of gap-toothed freshman girls that look like they've jumped out of a vat of acid and Mary Kay supplies isn't an appealing thing to do on a daily basis.
Luckily for me and half the population of the male sophomore class, Charlie is not this trashy. I'm surprised, actually, because she looked pretty classy today. Her black heels and slick glasses as a stunning fashion statement aren't what I want to blog about today, though. No, no, no, my friends. I'd like to say that this day officially marks the steamy beginning of a new chapter in my story.
It starts with the closing of an art club and a string of fevered curse words.
Recently my father picked up this chick (at the sorry excuse of a "club" around here,of course. Where else?) Her name is Janey. She's a hoot, let me tell you. You'd think no one in their right mind who wasn't over fifty would wear tacky red lipstick and purple eyeshadow anymore, but then you'd be dead wrong. Janey is your classic hooch, a grade-A streetwalker.
Well anyways, today is Wednesday, which is the day I go to art club every week. It's a sad excuse of a club - really just a place for the local anime freaks (no offense) , wannabe artists, and troublemakers spend an extra hour away from home. I get out of their at four. I expect my ride to be there five minutes after, if not earlier. Sure I could walk the few neighborhoods and streets home, but it was hot and muggy.... I mean seriously.
So I sat outside the school in blazing hot weather, by myself, looking lonely as shit to my embarrassment, waiting for a full hour for the dumb bitch to pick me up. It later tuns out that Miss Janey was arrested for stealing alcohol. A dumb move on her part too. If a doped up minor with a fake ID can manage to steal some alcohol every once a while in this town, I don't see how she could possibly screw it up. Or buy it. That's always an option.
But the angels must have been calling my name, because after ten minutes Charlie walked out of the building and sat herself right down beside me. Of all the empty benches in the front of the school, mine was the one she chose! I was smiling so hard, I was pissing rainbows. :)
Like any normally social people, we struck up a conversation. I learned today that Charlie plays the piano. She takes extra classes after school for the heck of it, so I'm assuming she really loves to play. Though, when I told her I'd love to hear it sometime, she looked at me like I was a crazy person. I thought she'd up and leave at that point, but to my surprise she didn't. Charlie is pretty cool once you get past her obvious and intimidating aura of popularity. She's on the tennis team yearly, loves World of Warcraft, hates my choppy and dark haircut, thinks I'm emo, and can't stand the smell of the deodorant I wear. She's also brutally honest to the point of being a bitch, but I still like her.
She left ten minutes later, but I was still dazed enough not to hate the next forty or so minutes as I thought about how amazing she looked. How amazing it'd be to get into her pants, I mean. And when Janey the ugly mammoth pulled up in her bent up automobile at 5:15, I couldn't help but grinning to myself. While I'm a little ticked off that I didn't learn all this about Charlie while I was supposed to be allegedly "stalking" her (well, more like following her around randomly when I feel like it before I get to know her, but you get the drift) I still can't help relishing in the fact that she actually talked to me.
Oh, and I also got her number.
Giggity, giggity.
-Max
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